Doing these will make your life harder during a divorce
10 Things to Avoid during Divorce
1. Refusing to Work Together
Just as a successful marriage requires two people, a successful divorce requires the same. Unwillingness to cooperate will only prolong the divorce process and cause unnecessary stress. Collaborating with your ex and being helpful is crucial to ensuring that both of you receive a fair share.
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2. Getting Your Kids Involved
Divorce can be a stressful experience for children since it disrupts their daily routine and what they perceive as “normal.” Involving them in divorce proceedings or pressuring them to take sides can intensify their suffering and cause long-term resentment. Therefore, it is essential to shield them from the conflict and avoid making negative remarks about your ex in front of them. Refraining from criticizing your spouse in front of the children is crucial, even when angry.
3. Mistaking your lawyer for a mental health counselor
Your divorce lawyer should stand up for your rights and fight for your best interests. While your lawyer may be an attentive and compassionate listener, it is crucial to avoid venting about your ex, as it can add to your legal fees. When you meet with your attorney, remember that time is of the essence.
4. Not Being Proactive About Your Case
While it’s not advisable to constantly contact your lawyer for updates on your case, staying informed and taking an active role in the process is essential. Divorce proceedings can be lengthy, adding to the emotional and financial stress of the situation. To ensure that things are progressing as expected, consider requesting a weekly email update from your lawyer. This approach can help you stay on top of developments in your case without overwhelming your lawyer with frequent calls or emails.
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5. Refusing Mediation
Even if sitting down with your ex to resolve issues amicably may not appeal to you, avoiding Mediation altogether is a disservice to yourself. While not all issues can be resolved without a judge, settling a few matters can save money, time, and emotional stress.
6. Speaking ill of Your Ex
Although you may feel hurt and angry, it’s crucial not to badmouth your ex in front of your children. Remember that when you speak negatively about your former partner, you’re also talking negatively about the child’s one and only mother or father. Your children didn’t marry your ex; you did. The problems that led to the divorce shouldn’t interfere with your children’s relationship with their other parent.
7. Making Rash Decisions
To avoid making hasty decisions during a divorce, thoroughly comprehend each choice’s consequences. Conduct extensive research and seek advice from your lawyer. The more knowledge you possess and the clearer your perception of the circumstances, the more favorable the result will be.
8. Settling for Less
While compromise is vital in divorce, it’s equally important not to settle for less than you deserve or need. It’s essential to be transparent about your needs and abilities, whether receiving or giving alimony or child support.
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9. Losing Control
Always ensure that your attorney informs you fully of the situation before making decisions on your behalf. While it may be tempting to let your lawyer take control, staying involved is essential, as is only allowing your attorney to make decisions on your behalf if they have your consent first. Ensure you understand your choices’ implications so your attorney can act in your best interest.
10. Making False Accusations
Making false accusations and lying will not benefit your case and can ultimately harm it. Accusing your spouse falsely of drug or verbal or physical abuse will only complicate things. If the falsehood is uncovered, it may result in the judge revoking your visitation or custody rights.
